Skip to main content

Kiss us or we’ll pull your pants down (part 1 of 2)

“Life is not what one lived, but what one remembers and how one remembers it in order to recount it.” G.G. Marquez

In a house hold with tree guys, one girl and a single mother there’s always something going on. For the first 11 years we lived in a suburb of Rotterdam, The Netherlands. Calling it a suburb is really not very descriptive for what it was, a better description would be, a modern built ghetto with a subway connection. Growing up in the city might be dangerous because of traffic and the ever shrinking room to play, our suburb was mostly dangerous because of kids and their cruel sense of humor. Sometimes we’d get carried away and join in, there have been occasions where one of my brothers pied over his toys to make sure the other kids wouldn’t touch or steal it. A very effective technique. On the other hand this technique was also utilized by other boys on your toys. I just played with my sisters dolls and developed a keen eye for yellow staining.

Most of the time I just kept to myself. A doll made a perfectly acceptable rocket ship and a dollhouse functioned as base of operations. The added advantage was that I didn’t have to build any of it with Lego. I was an incredible lazy child when it came to doing things with my hands. I was perfectly content living in my own fantasy world without having to do much of anything.

My brothers on the other hand were a bit more energetic than I was and sometimes made the mistake to involve me in their play. After a while I had adapted a technique which seemed to work magic when it came to cutting play short and turning it into drama. As I was a good deal younger than my two brothers I was also a lot shorter, at that age - I believe I was around six but I don’t remember exactly - my length gave me near perfect access to their crotches. When one of my two brothers moved in for some rough and free frolic play time a quick jab with my right would bring it to a premature end. Being very proud of my new found technique I perfected it by hightailing the scene and play innocent in my room.
As they were my older brothers my mother was of the opinion that they should be the wiser. They had to deal with my mothers wrath while I was listening-in from the safety of my room.
For a good year I got away with this technique until one day my mother came into my room to have a talk with me, calmly explaining that hitting my brothers in the groin was a very nasty thing to do and I had to stop it. I pretty much stopped unless I feared that their play would be more painful than my mothers punishment for giving them groin trouble again. All in all my older brothers were great and never gave me much trouble at all, looking back I probably inflicted more physical pain on them than the other way around.

You can subscribe to my blog to read the second part. Thanks

Popular posts from this blog

Failed gamer review of Resident Evil 7 Biohazard

My review as a failed gamer of Resident Evil 7 Biohazard (isn't that two words?!).
Started up the game with a pounding heart. Entered the first area, darkroom flashlight lit only. Ambiance: grany died a horrific death by a rabie infested shih-tzu many moons ago, the kids never helped her with the household.

Making a 360 in the room had my heart pounding...

After 5 minutes I sprinted to the exit, clicked the action button to open the door and ran back. The door only opened a crack. Gave myself a pep talk and with one eye closed ran against the half open door into the hallway, crapped my pants and switched of the computer.

Ambiance: 10/10
Graphics: 10/10
Play-ability: 0/10
Story: Way to freaking scary 😨

http://residentevil7.com/

GAD and Sexy

So I’ve been thinking about writing a meaningful flashback/review of my vacation in Świnoujście Poland. One of the strangest places, I visited in Poland and then not strange in a good way, but more strange in a somewhat boring-jaw-dropping-creepy way. I decided I would try to be all nice and objective and writer like, make sense in what would be my traveler voice (never mind that I would totally love to be a traveler and a man of the world but I’m so not). But then I thought since we’re all sharing our social lives on “the internet” and some people can barely fart without tweeting about it, I might as well throw it all overboard and just write in my own voice, be completely honest, really just confess to the world how completely disturbed I am. Come to think of it, I’d really only confess to people that have an interested in what’s going on in my head or life so I figure about one or two people will make it to the end of what I’m writing now.
Since this post was going to be about my…

Pass it forward. Yes I'm giving something away

Okay I have the ability to give away something that could make someones dream come true. The only thing I would really like is to give it to someone whom normally would have hardly any chance to get to do something like this. So what is it?

It's a free fall parachute jump! You know sky diving, parachute jumping etc.

So what do you need to know?


It's in The NetherlandsThere is absolutely no fine print, really a gift I'd love it if you can send me an image after having jumped so I can brag in your name on this blog. But if you don't want that, no problem.It's absolutely necessary that it will be an unforgettable experience for you ;-) From the time of this post I'll wait 2 weeks until I make a choice. Apply which ever way you want, by comment below or email me, which ever you prefer.   I'm doing this in the name of a memory that's important to me so not to promote my blog or anything. The memory is way too personal so I'm not going to share *neaner nea…